The second installment of my blonde analysis features 3 samples with quite different characteristics. They might look similar and saturate your brain at about the same rate, but they couldn't be any more different from each other if you pay attention to the details hidden behind the lustrous golden hue.

The first one on the list is by far the worst of the lot. Abbaye des Bonne Esperance by Brasserie Lefebvre, the makers of the Floreffe range which has severely deteriorated since it sent me into orgasmic shock once in the early nineties, left me feeling a bit empty inside. This one had a deep hue, more of a dishwater blonde than a true specimen. It had a malt balance without so much as a whisper of hops, yet the malt seemed lacking, hence leaving the beer as a whole lacking in kind. Overall I would describe the flavor as crisp and perhaps masked without any defining characteristics. Following all this up in the finish was a mildly unappetizing tartness that smacked of heavily diluted apple cider vinegar. Now the more astute reader might point out correctly that I had rated this beer four gleaming stars once upon a time. This is true. I had it in a 14th century cellar bar in Tournai a few years back when it was a new line and came only in 75cl corked bottles. The beer has recently shown up the local grocer in 33's and seems to have lost a few of its dimensions.

Corsendonk Agnus is a blonde only because it fits the bill but says nothing of its pedigree on the bottle. An Abbey beer by marketing status, it can often be found in its original half-rubbed-off painted bottles rather than the later paper incarnations. This is a beer that, maybe due to its slightly higher price, I've passed over many times while grabbing my fix. No more will this one fly under my radar. A bright yellow-gold in color with a fluffy head and beaucoup aroma, it is just begging to be downed like a Pabst or two in 1 inch tubing. Actually, its in a different class altogether and shouldn't come into contact with automotive grade polyethylene at any stage in its consumption. A bready, honeyish aroma wafts pleasantly from the froth and again on the palette as it passes smoothly over it. Another malt-balanced blonde, but this time with much more to fill in the gaps. It finishes a bit thin, but not in a negative way, more in a refreshing gotta-have-another-sip sort of way. The other aspects to the beer are the delicious citrus notes and a mild tartness to accompany them. Not an outstanding beer, but one worth a serious sampling to enjoy a fresh perspective on blondes.

Though not admittedly a blonde, St. Bernardus Triple doesn't really attain enough strength to enjoy true triple status at a mere 7.5% by volume. A fine beer by any standards, however, and one which deserves a sampling if you can find it. This one pours a bit flatter than most and seems to blow chunks into the glass no matter what you do. These only add to the rustic allure of its off-color robe. This one borders on Amber, but as enough true blonde appeal to hang out with them. In fact it's more of a light, light, light brown than anything else. It assaults the nose with honey and sweet spices such as nutmeg while going all-out malt and honey on the palette. It is extremely soft in the process and finishes clean without too much distinction. It is loaded with short-term flavor however and more than satisfies.

Now for an entry from the Barbarian half of Belgium, the Flemish, who have a truckload of blondes themselves. A beer that might easily fool an unsuspecting tool like myself is HAPKIN (8.5%) from the corporate giant Alken Maes. An endorsement from Michael Jackson on the bottle sells it shamelessly. Michael states "HAPKIN has a very good, fresh, flowery Saaz hop aroma; a very big creamy head, a soft malt character, and a spritzy, perfumy fruitiness drying toward the finish." Now, my mom taught me that if you can't find something nice to say then don't say anything at all. When paid, however, it is of course acceptable to make stuff up that sounds nice. I imagine Michael's spew here wasn't an entirely soulful analysis based on my humble first impression. Replace "fresh and flowery" with "sulfury and green" and we begin to approach the truth. Perhaps with a bit more time in the bottle this will subside, but this is a bottom-shelf blonde, not one from the connoisseurs corner. Though somewhat malt-balanced it has a distracting hop flavor that doesn't really work well with the overall theme. It is more of a sharply oxidized flavor than a spritzy, perfumy fruitiness. There is nothing remotely like that in this beer and should be stricken from the record. In fact, I've already spent too much time writing about this beer and will gladly end it here.